VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
