You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
