I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
