In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just puked most of my soul out..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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