my sisters under your porch take her home
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
