you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize