I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
