I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
