she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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