the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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