You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
