were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
