can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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