just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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