don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
