So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's just like the Real World with babies
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
