I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
