I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
