some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
