I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
