not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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