why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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