So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
