I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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