he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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