She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I will pee on everything he values.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
