And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
