I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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