and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
