I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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