you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
