I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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