...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I need a hoe opinion
go on
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
