Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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