you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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