The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
BRING THE BAGELS
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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