She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
