No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
