i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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