stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
