just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
don't judge my taste in strippers
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
