At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
