dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
