I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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