How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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