I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
