did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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