How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize