My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
