she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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