he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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