Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You should frame my arrest warrant.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
