I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
did i just pee glitter
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
