Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
