He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
