you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
