Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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