I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
