Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Do vagina's smell?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
