Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
So squirting runs in the family.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
