youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
